And we drove all the way to Chicago…

Second City may be coming to town!

Dear [Second City,]

I share your commitment to excellence [in comedy] and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to discuss my qualifications with you in person.

Reference available upon request [or insert bj swank's email address here].

Yours sincerely,

thegirl

Review: “We Call This Comedy”

“We Call This Comedy” is a really fun show that had me laughing out loud. The material and delivery seemed fresh and innocent, much like the way I approached the free samosa at the end of the show (my first time). While offering food at your show may seem like a cheap ploy, I can say with certainty that I will be heartily disappointed the next time I go to a comedy show and am not sent home with a delicious pastry filled with magic. It was truly, truly delicious.

.
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Review: Sorry…I Was Going to Turn it into Something Beautiful

This show is lovely. It is modest and short (just 45 minutes) and looks at the theme of relationships and communication in a unique way. Cute little touches like the actors painting pictures of the scenes during the show, innovative staging, and lascivious use of a sock puppet all make for a good time. Plus, 2 of the actors have awesome accents.

Sorry…I Was Going to Turn it into Something Beautiful

Fueling the Beast

Lots of people have pre-performance routines, things that they do before a big show, a big game or a big meeting. My father, for example, eats Kraft Dinner before he plays his weekly hockey game in the seniors league. He only uses half the packet of cheese, however. I’m pretty sure this merits a “WTF?”.

My sister is, as I write this, preparing to climb Machu Picchu with some elite athletes. Her fuel of choice? Fried zucchini. Because of double “c”s, no doubt. Stop right there, you boob joke-makers.

I have a performance review at work following this lunch break and I’ve opted for a blueberry muffin to really rev up my goal-setting, initiative-taking, dynamic-team-player self. Yeah, blueberries! In a muffin! Promoted! What’s that? Something on my lip? Oh, thanks, it’s half of a blueberry cooked in a bit of muffin dough, boss.

Before an improv show, I try to avoid having a big meal. During a show you need to be limber, light and free of any gastrointestinal constraints (workshop topic idea #34). We usually get ice water in a pitcher before the show. This helps to quell the “improv inferno” that takes over my face. I always get flushed and very hot before we’re about to go on even though I rarely get nervous before shows anymore. It occurred to me on Friday that it’s quite awkward to come out on stage holding your cups of ice water. This probably looks a bit unprofessional and decidedly uncool (we should carry our ice water in bottles of rum or in something that fires lasers). Carrying water when you come out on stage prevents that kind of bouncy energy that you want to convey. Instead it’s like “hey, audience, whoa, almost spilled my ice water”.

Speaking of sugar, we usually tend to down a few adult beverages (milkshakes) afterwards and discuss what we liked and didn’t like about the show. A bad performance tends to get lost in the chocolaty swamp before us and a good performance is made even sweeter by it.

Hmmm, you know what goes well with milkshakes? Pie.

Reason #456 why it’s fun to have another girl in the troupe

Recipe swap!

Sauté Classico brand Sweet Basil Marinara sauce, 1 sweet red onion, 2 cloves of garlic, some bay leaves, 1 mango and 2 chicken breasts cut up into pieces. Serve with rice or pasta and a smile.

Thanks to the other girl for passing this along. It’s truly delicious.

Cuisine seems to be on the brain a lot lately. Yesterday’s show at the Comedy Nest involved a frenetic cooking show involving “Bozo” and “Clown” teaching confused viewers how to make asparagus and ham…

Reason #457: sharing wardrobe tips during a photo shoot (is there such a thing as a good strapless bra?)

Reason #458: compliments!

If our troupe didn’t have a “no touching” rule, I’m pretty sure that reason #459 would be: hugging. But, alas, we’ll have to skip this one in favour of, perhaps, an enthusiastic nod? Yes!

Reason # 459: enthusiastic nods!

Road Trip Impressions

Chicago pizza is delicious.

Mick Napier’s ideas about directing improv are also delicious. I listened to his workshop and had to hold myself back from standing up and yelling “amen!” when he invited us to do rather than discuss scenes, when he suggested that side “coaching” should be limited and that, instead of being interrupted and directed during scenes, players should be invited to choose different behaviour or patterns next time around. He seemed to roll his eyes at the way long form can lapse into a slow/serious rhythm and encouraged players to vary up the pacing. I have an improv crush on Mick Napier.

Bigwig improvisers in Chicago swear a lot.

EL train riders seem to be very tense. To the young woman who kept berating another young lady with taunts of “get off the train, bitch!”: you should try yoga or perhaps a scented candle in your bedroom.

Chicago’s magic bean is just as fun in the daytime as it is at night.

Seeing the words “Without Annette” and “Second City” on a show ticket can cause goose bumps. I have an improv crush on this ticket.

At this point, I’d like to give a “shout out” to the lady that works at the Cracker Barrel restaurant who thought it would be a great idea for us to visit all of the Cracker Barrels on our trip back to Canada so that we could collect all of the different Cracker Barrel shirts from the different states. She gave us a map to facilitate our quest. Next time you’re down, remember that “there’s so much happiness at the Cracker Barrel”. Happiness and breaded fried okra.

We’ll be having a “Help Annette Pay All of the Highway Tolls” fundraiser in the coming few weeks.

Moral: any great trip should involve breaded fried okra and Mick Napier. And, ideally, a red rented van named “Cherry” and 5 of your favourite improvisors. A GPS system and some Werthers Originals do not hurt either.

I’m gonna live forever, I’m gonna learn how to fly!

“Can I have your autograph?”

The setting was high school. The question was posed by Mrs. l (I’ll protect her identity by not capitalizing the first letter of her last name). She was rumoured to be in a relationship with another female teacher at our school, a gruff sort of woman with a manly swagger, orthopaedic stockings, and a penchant for hippy necklaces. Mrs. l had seen me in the school play as the prissy-narrator-turned-wild-woman-in-a-fruit-outfit and her kids were big fans. This was such a pivotal moment in my performance career because autographs were very important to me. In fact, I remember being absolutely obsessed with getting all of the Disney characters to sign my autograph book when I was a kid and getting very, very angry at my sister who accidentally got “Chip” twice instead of Chip AND Dale. I was going to apologize to my sister in this blog for being so silly but I’ll have to think it over a bit. I mean the second Chip’s signature looked nothing like the first one. And it was upside down.

I remember being at the Just for Laughs Festival improv tournament a few years back and hearing them announce my name as a “celebrity judge”. I never thought that people actually spat water out of their mouths when they were shocked in real life but I learned that night that it is very possible. This was fresh off my professional make-up session next to Roman Danylo. When asked “Do you do a lot of professional acting?,” I responded “oh, I work a lot in Europe” instead of “I often pretend to be the wife of former, Swedish tennis superstar, Stefan Edberg at night while cuddling my pillow.

Sure, at first, it’s all about the glamour and the recognition. After 10 years in the biz, however, it becomes about more than all that. It’s about more than that little drawer in the green room in which I stuff my purse, that slightly cracked water pitcher that we get to split between us during the shows, and that rickety old toilet handle that we have to pretend is still fastened to the toilet so as to not arouse suspicion that we may be responsible for breaking it. No, it’s about the joy of the activity, the connection forged with your fellow improvisors. Inspiring cackling from the front row is gravy, sure, but you learn not to rely on it as a validation for your existence. Doing improv for superficial reasons like that might make you inclined to be all like “oh, man, I sure hope I get to rub shoulders with Andy Dick at the Chicago Improv Festival next week” and then you’d be like super disappointed when you learned that his show has been cancelled.

This blog entry is dedicated to Mrs. l. If you’re out there, I want you to know that there is a spot in my autograph book with your name on it.

15% Tip (85% filler)

What can you do to become a better performer?

Walk around your environment, point at things randomly and call them by some other name (i.e. point at fridge, yell “Ouija board”).

Wear something that you normally wouldn’t and adopt a character inspired by that article of clothing. Then go somewhere public and maintain the character the whole time. Maybe keep a journal as the character for a while. Make sure to check back in with your actual self from time to time lest you start to lose touch with reality (I recommend a hot bath, a deli sandwich and a whole lot of Ryan Seacrest).

Be sure to keep pushing yourself by continually learning about things that are beyond your comfort zone. By never letting yourself get too comfortable, you will feel more at ease with the unexpected onstage. This strategy will also help you feel more at ease with failure. I can’t believe it took you so long to read up until this point! What’s wrong with you?

Expose yourself to different languages.

Study people. Watch them in the park, in the office, in their bed while they’re asleep. Never. Let. Up.

Other things my drama teachers taught me over the years that are perhaps not quite as helpful:

“No homosexuality!” – my high school drama teacher would repeat this over and over as we prepared for our skits. I don’t think she had anything against homosexuals, I just think that she was tired of seeing the same content over and over again (why does high school drama have to be like this?).

“You’re my star student” – oh, sorry, this isn’t actually advice. This is just a little something that my favourite drama teacher once told me (twice).

“You’re going to be a star one day” – yeah, again.

“Don’t sing, dear, just step to the back of the chorus line, farther, farther, yes, that’s it” – also, not really advice. Just something that my least favourite play director said to me in high school. Suck it!

“You don’t mind playing a man, do you? It’s just that you don’t fit into the girls’ dresses”. Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!

Ahem.

I suppose the best tip of them all is to hang out with your fellow improv players a lot. Get to know and love them. Walk their dogs, cradle their babies, hold out your hand for their chewed gum when the flavour runs out. The relationship you develop offstage will hopefully translate into more playful, relaxed and fun performances.

Kickin’ It Old Fool

“APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.”

–T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland

“For the April Fools segement [of our Comedy Nest show on Friday,] I’m going to use a blindfold, headphones and loud music – so, if someone else has a similar idea, we should talk and “rock/paper/scizors’ it up to see who gets to do that.”

–Without Annette’s Dan

FRIDAY, APRIL 3rd at 10:30 p.m.
Ernie Butler’s Comedy Nest $6

Greasy Urn

I cringe when I hear people say “don’t be shy!” to a child. Shyness is not a choice so it’s a bit like telling someone “don’t be tall”. “Don’t be shy” is often delivered under the guise of kindness but packs a subversive punch, I think. Like if you go over to someone’s house and they say “help yourself to some lemonade, don’t be shy!”. What could have been a lovely offer now inspires a slight moment of self-doubt: What makes you think I would be shy about taking lemonade? Do I seem hesitant about my thirst? Am I not lunging for the lemonade as enthusiastically as I should be? It implies that being shy is bad. Don’t do it! Whatever you do, don’t be shy! Western culture tends to celebrate the opposite of reserved, sensitive and observant but having these characteristics can mean that you “are more aware than others of subtleties…you see more than others by noticing more” (see Elaine Aaron’s research on highly sensitive people).

Contrary to popular belief, improvisors are not all outgoing and wacky. In fact, I know a number of shy improvisors. Sure, once you get them together over a few fruit juices, the jokes start flying and the ties come off, but they are seldom the crazy ones yelling loudly at the party (in fact, a good number of improvisors I know can be found playing Scrabble -or some Scrabble variant- in the back room and I, ahem, am usually winning). As we’ve discussed in the past on this blog, trying too hard on stage rarely results in quality improv. Also, the craft demands strong listening skills, likeability, and sensitivity to life’s genuine moments. If you’re too busy yelling “look at me,” you will not have great tools with which to build a scene. Therefore, we improvisors use other ways to get attention like writing a blog entry, hinting at our superior Scrabble skills and having great hair.

In fact, I’m slowly realizing that improv is so inspiring and engaging to do and watch because, even though the situations and characters are fabricated, it is one of the rare occasions where people can enjoy genuine exchanges with others. So much of the interchanges at work and play adhere to social guidelines rather than truth:

“Hi, Barbara, how are you today?”

“Oh, just great, Deirdre, thank you. Getting ready for gardening season?”

“Why yes, I’m looking forward to buying my seeds.”

Take Barbara and Deirdre and put them in a heightened reality and the interchange would be much different:

“Hi, Barbara, how are you today?”

“Oh, just great, Deirdre, thank you. Getting ready for gardening season?”

(crying) “Why yes, I’m looking forward to buying my seeds given that my womb is barren”.

Improv pins you up against the wall of the moment (in a friendly way) and asks for you to express yourself immediately. Even though you do so through the vehicle of a character in a made up setting, a bit of yourself spills out onstage and into the hands of your fellow players. It seems highly likely that Keats was directly referencing improv when he wrote “Beauty is truth, truth beauty” (my research tells me that his favourite game was Fishbowl).

Ms. Conception

We met at a coffee shop on a blind date years ago. I engaged him with my charm and wit and he was doing alright, I suppose – except for the fact that his necklace was prettier than me – until he muttered, “I don’t believe that improv is unscripted”. Adios, muchacho.

I’m at my great aunt’s 80th surprise birthday party (”surprise, you’re 80!” is somewhat anticlimactic in a way) and out comes my cousin’s video camera aimed at my head. Chants of “c’mon, say something funny, you do improv!” deepen my blush.

A bottle of aspirin falls in the toilet, someone spills a beverage all over their crotch, a professor farts and I am inevitably encouraged to include these hilarious bits of comedy into my “stand up act”. What?

Clearly, the full glory of improv remains lost on many and we must continue to work towards a better understanding of our craft and its magic goodness (or evil).

Enjoy Seven Things You Think About Improv That Are Wrong and spread the word!

“So, what’s the deal with professors? They’re always farting!”

Blowin’ in the Wind

Without Annette will be performing in the Chicago Improv Festival April 17th, 10:00 p.m.
@ The Second City Skybox! I see from their website that Andy Dick will be performing his new one-man show at the festival. So, to recap, we’re in a festival with Andy Dick. I think that’s pretty cool.

This made me wonder what Andy Dick has been up to lately (oh, if I had a nickel for every time I Googled “Andy” or “Dick”) and I’ve discovered that he’s been hosting a web show called “House Arrest” because he’s, um, under house arrest. He’s even got a band! You better watch your ass, Jimmy Fallon.

In addition to catching some great improv, we will look out for Barack Obama’s house, savour some Chicago-style pizza and, of course, try to get on Oprah.